In the name of the father...

What’s in a surname? Do a daughter’s responsibilities end when she weds, asks Anuradha Varma
TIMES NEWS NETWORK
WHEN Priyanka Gandhi Vadra turned up to watch her brother Rahul Gandhi deliver his speech during a trust vote in Parliament, was she doing a Vadra or Gandhi? Or did it display a diminishing sense of family values when a married Priya Dutt took on her late father actor Sunil Dutt’s constituency and stood by her troubled actor brother Sanjay Dutt, all the while retaining her original surname? Amosha Lyngdoh, in her early thirties, asks quizzically, “Why should I change my surname to my husband’s? My name is my identity.” True enough. For instance, how does Hema Deol, Moon Moon Varma or Shabana Akhtar sound to you? Restore Malini to Hema, maiden names to Moon Moon and Shabana, and things fall back into place! Columnist and film producer Pritish Nandy is categorical when he states, “I would love my daughters to retain their surname after marriage. Marriage is a coming together of equals. It’s not like buying a cow and then branding it with an iron rod just to show your ownership over it. My daughters are independent people. They have identities — and histories — of their own.” Is it a non-issue, then? That’s what it would have remained, if Sanjay Dutt hadn’t made it a talking point once more, when he recently said that “girls must assume their new surname and all the responsibilities that come with it”. Says actor Moon Moon Sen, daughter of the legendary Suchitra Sen and mother to actors Raima and Riya, “I don’t think anyone has the right to say whether somebody should keep one, two or three surnames. I began work after marriage and used my original surname because I considered it lucky. In my husband’s circle, I’m known by his last name. It’s about personal choice.” As for a woman’s role in the modern family, Sen says, “Why just a woman? In my family, it’s my husband who holds the family together. I’ve been a spoilt wife and now he takes care of all my daughters’ needs.” Some men would go a step further to defy socalled norms. When columnist Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar decided to marry, he went all the way by taking on his wife’s name as his middle name, as part of an equal partnership. He remarks, tongue-in-cheek, “Well, otherwise, Sanjay Dutt might have asked me why I wasn’t assuming full responsibility for my wife’s family!” CPM leader and social activist Brinda Karat also took on her husband’s surname under unusual circumstances, with tradition not playing any part in the decision. She says, “I married during the Emergency and had to change both my first and last names to stay ‘underground’. Later, I was advised to retain one for familiarity, which happened to be my husband’s surname.” Karat adds, “It’s a woman’s right to decide her surname and fortunately, both partners are equal before the law and the Constitution. A pativrata culture is not the potion for a happy family.” A change of surname also calls for a mountain of paperwork, particularly now when women marry after they’re settled in their careers or having set up businesses. However, lawyer Kamini Jaiswal believes that if some women are not changing their surnames, it’s because they don’t want to. She bristles, “Sanjay Dutt is someone who uses his father’s last name but has a problem because his sister does so.” In fact, the trend of adopting a man’s last name is more north Indian than Indian. Says sociologist Nandini Sundar, “In the south, women — and men — are known by their own names.” Adds Lyngdoh, who belongs to Meghalaya’s matriarchal Khasi tribe, “We take our mother’s surnames. After marriage, husbands and wives retain their names.” So, next time you come across a mention of Parle’s Shauna Chauhan, Madhuri Dixit-Nene or Hillary Rodham-Clinton, remember it’s all about personal choice as well as hard-won personal identity!